How to become a leader
The last couple of years I have grown from a Beta person to a Pre-Alpha and then on to an Aplha Networker. I have learned that all along it was not the leads, the books, the courses, the events, the people I met or anything else that was in my way to the top.
It was ME!
Since I have read Mike Dillards great book Magnetic Sponsoring und read not even the first chapter but just the introduction I understood why it has taken so long for me to grow to the top and have people follow ME instead of the other way around. Unfortunately the book came a little too late since I had been struggling for the previous 4 or 5 years.
Can you lead yourself?
One of the many great remarks made in the book I have to say that leading by example was always in my mind but never so clear. Mike says something like this: How can you lead others through their struggles if you cannot first lead yourself through the struggles?"
Well, I can only say that he was right! After I FINALLY came through my struggles and learned that I do not have to sell my product (unless I only want to sell my product of course) but I have to "sell" myself as a leader who people can follow things changed.
I remember very well the feeling I used to get when I HAD to pick up the phone to call a lead and ask them if they PLEASE wanted to join my business. The feeling alone was killing me and stopped me most of the time from calling.
Now, when I am talking to a lead on the phone I ask them why they think I should work with them and why they will keep going even when things get tough. Do they see themselves as coming leaders (it does NOT matter where they are at this point by the way!) I do not NEED them to get into my business anymore because I make enough money. O course I LOVE helping people to get the same as I have but people really have to WANT to get to the top!
I still LOVE coaching and I will never quit but now I only coach people who I really think are willing to change and work hard for it.
This is exactly the type of attitude you need to have as a leader or a coming leader: "I don't NEED it, this is an opportunity for you to work with me, I can teach you how to be successful but only when I decide if you are the right person."
So what I am trying to say here is this:
Change your beliefs about who you are and things will start to change. Just start by faking it until you make it. Some people might not believe you at first but what the BLEEP does it matter?!
Change your beliefs, change your peers
Think for a moment about what type of people you are surrounded with. What are your closest friends? What do they do for a living? What do they make? How many hours do they work for that money? Will they probably work until they die?
You are the average of the 5 closest people around you.
Now understand that you are in this group of people because you have the same State of Mind as these people. (OK, 99% of the cases)
So when you change your beliefs, your STATE OF MIND, then you will start to make different decisions, take different actions and very likely get a different group of peers.
The other way around
Another thing you can do, is change your peers to change your mindset. After I decided that some of my friends where not who I want to be I chose to see them a lot less. Besides I started to attract people to my life that ARE doing what I want to do. One example, is I mastermind EVERY day (except Sunday) with one of my mentors. This keeps me sharp, makes me grow and keeps me looking forward even now when I am already at a place where I never dreamed I could be so soon after my deepest point EVER!
SO: (As you know, repetition is KEY!)
Change your beliefs, change your state of mind, BE the leader, see yourself as a leader and behave like a leader. There will be people who wont believe you and there will be some Alpha males challenging you because you are not YET a real Alpha. However, it will change your mindset!
Change your group of close friends when you see that the 5 closest friends you have do NOT have what you want to have. This will make you conscious about your current situation, lifestyle and state of mind (see my other post about this!) and will make you a leader even faster. Just to be clear, do not just kick them out (right away) but just decide not to see them every day or even every week and see what happens.
Of course you want to fill up any gaps you might feel, here's how:
Find a mastermind partner or more then one you can mastermind with and who can help you to grow to where you want to go. Just call the person who you would normally never call and ask them if they are willing to Mastermind with you for once every week for only 10 to 15 minutes. When you are really eager to grow and you make them show that you do for sure they will be willing to help you up!
As always, thank you very much for supporting my site!
Remco de Vries
Attraction Marketing Coach
